Hello my fine friends!
Can I get a woo-hoo for the weekend?!
In the spirit of holiday of love, romance, and heartfelt reminders that you are in fact still single, I thought I would take a humorous poke at myself until I finally settle down and get serious about those Tinder dates.
Here’s some thoughts that all us independent ladies out there can appreciate. Enjoy!
Those crazy Saturday nights when things get really out of control.
This is why I can’t have nice things.
The fact that you don’t need to buy a razor until mid-April.
On second thought, make that Cinco de Mayo. I need money for tequila.
There’s only one true desire that you need in life.
We’re getting pretty serious at this point.
You forgot what it’s like to eat with other people.
What’s this “sharing” thing you speak of?
How you think flirting will come out.
How you actually look.
I swear I’m only this awkward once you get to know me.
When your idea of “going out” starts from this.
But these are my good pair of yoga pants.
When your Mom tries to set you up with that “really nice guy” from work. For the fourth time.
Imma let you finish, but…no.
When your friend invites you to “come along” with her and her boyfriend.
I’m actually like… really busy tonight. And I was really looking forward to watching how in love you guys are!
Being able to sleep wherever you damn well please.
So you can kick that pile of clothes to fold to the far edges of the earth.
Otherwise known as “Nevergunnahappenland”.
But sometimes, you just need someone to cuddle.
Get over here pillow and let me spoon you.
When your friends tell you the right guy will come along soon.
You’re so right. I mean, it’s only been 3 years. That’s like no time. Right? RIGHT??!?!?!
Just when you think he’s reallllly into you.
Yes Mom, the triangle button does mean play. Next time, dial 911 when it’s this urgent.
When your friends start to comment on how infrequently you shower.
It’s called saving the planet. All the spinsters are doing it.
Happy Valentine’s Day!